TTMMGH#00010 Low Effort Marketing

Things That Make Me Go Hmmhmm #10

Stupid emails from stupid companies who all use the same emoticons because they're an easy way to appease the mug punter (yourself) with pretties. They want your attention but don't value it enough to put any effort into their marketing missives. They want your custom and your money but - steady on there bloke - we don't actually want to make you feel like you're, y'know, valued or anything. 

I'm imagining that those companies with several employees and an office space are earning money from me either directly or through selling my information or offering some of their clients a shot at advertising to me, so I and tens of thousands of their clients must be worth something to them - right? Yet all I see in those cheery icon-studded puddles of trite hogwash is someone whose job it is to generate the email just wanting to get it over with and get on with some other more important part of their life, and the person who's supposed to read it and improve it before it gets sent also deciding - well screw these mug punters, I have to get to my drinks with some other ass-kissers in ten minutes so just send it already. 

I hold down a life I intend to enjoy as much of as possible with a woman I love and pets that bring us joy and a garden that fulfils us both. I do my share of the housework and do the cooking. I work on a huge list of projects ranging from simple woodwork to complex machines to circuitry and programming, I write several blog articles a week. And I'd feel guilty if I just lifted a piece of clip art or got AI to generate a piece for me and then didn't work it over and add a bit of myself to it. 

And despite only ever earning well under $100 a year from those blog and instructive articles, I could not just pepper a few crap icons or an unimproved picture lifted off my Nightcafe creations into a post just because I can't be arsed to give something more of myself to my readers/followers.

Not Just The Email Bacn, Either

I've also noticed a few Youtubers whose channels contained decent vibrant content in the past that are now pumping out a steady stream of what I've heard in other circumstances described as schlock. For instance, I saw a video about (for the sake of this article I'll pick one at random) the US Defence Forces releasing information about UFOs. The video was produced well and was informative and obviously took a bit of research and time to put together. Then within a few days, it was like all those schlock jocks had seen that video and put together their own video to try and cash in on the hits the original articles had garnered. 

It was pretty obvious that many of the following videos were only researched by referring to the OP video and a bare minimum of changed wording. Now this I call cynical because the tail end had obviously just spent a day or two preparing and making their videos, but they're still cashing views on their reputation alone, and getting as much income for two days of production (and honestly - not this UFO topic in particular, it's just an example plucked out of thin air - some of these videos didn't deserve to coast along like this.) that I've now taken notifications off those channels. 

They may still produce an occasional brilliant original thought-provoking video but if they cbf to make a decent original videos their main output then I certainly can't be bothered to keep them in likes.  

And Just Because They're On Me Lawn:

Why do almost all sites include a "this site wants to send you notifications, allow / block?" messages? Does ANYONE want continual notifications from their toilet paper supplier site? Does anyone give a Flying Spaghetti Monster for notifications? 

I can sort of see how the intrusive

SUBSCRIBE TO MY NEWSLETTER!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!

might garner a dozen news subscribers a year, but once someone's said no to these annoyances a few times, maybe use one of your precious cookies to stop sending those pop-up notifications... Or how the pervasive 

Bookmark!   Our!   Site!

might cause a few dozen people to add a bookmark. 

But the acme of keeping people coming back would have to be to have the best deals, the fastest delivery, the most unbiased news, and best value. Isn't that what most people want? So why detract from your qualities with these cheap attacks on your customers. You wouldn't put a person at your door and instruct them to try and glue your brochures onto customers as they enter and leave would you?

(Sinking feeling as I realise I've probably given some bricks and mortar Head Of Sales another idea...)

It's low-effort marketing, it's rude, it's intrusive, it's annoying, and it probably loses those sites thousands of viewers that might otherwise become returning visitors. I know that unless the site has some higher intrinsic value than another, they lose me after 2-3 visits because it's not worth the bother.